HERE WE GO SOME  MISS PARKER - QUOTES FROM THE PRETENDER AND THE BOTH MOVIES**ENJOY**

„Hmmm...there´s one less vacancy in hell“  „If you´re lonely, call a 900 number“ „I don´t know if you´re ignorant or just stupid“

 „Do you want me to hurt you?“  „Doesn´t anybody ever really die anymore?“  „It´s time to come home Jarod“ „Any 7´s ?“

„Broots mayt be an idot but he´s my idiot, the only one who terrorises him is me“  „That note was from you, not Jarod“ „What?!“

„Jarod may be a pain in the ass, but he´s not heartless“  „You´ve got to be cheating“ „Cute...not funny , but cute“ „Not Brigitte“

„If you say anything every dairy case in the state will be plastered with your face, understand?“ „I don´t do mommy“

„I wouldn´t puch him, a man with a temper to match his markmanship, dangerous combo“  „Get a life, Kato!“Daddy...Oh my God!“

„There had better be booze in the courtesy bar, or someone`s going to pay“ „Oh you must be feeling lucky today“  „Could you go!“

„Broots!Broots you lovable moron, is that you?“  „That bitch is like a bad cough“  „Then he would certainly fit in around here“

„I need a drink. A big one“  „Believe it coocoo boy is there“ „Bus is leaving.Save you a seat“ „I want to kill her not screw her“

„It´s time I shook up the family tree and see who falls out“ „The ken doll here, corrected over night...“ „I have a gun and I´ll use it“

„Are you  my brother?“ „Sometimes I think you and I are the only one around here who are sane.Which doesn´t say much about me“

„Kyle is here?“  „I can´t believe you weren´t spawned under some rock, unstead of being born from the same flesh and blood I come from.As much as I hate to admit it, Broots is more a brother to me than you ever be.I won´t throw him out like a piece of garbage“

„We´re searching...Search faster!“  „You´re going to marry the Bi..the woman who tried to kill you?“ „Do I look like a babysitter?“

„Did you eat the whole onion for breakfast?“ „He´s a pretender.A genius who can become anyone that he wants to be“

„The Centre wants him alive!...Preferably“  „He defends the weak and abused“ „It´s official I´m in hell!“ „We can die trying“

„It´s simple.Raines dead, me happy“  „Cousin It woke up and remembered he was Libarace“ „What am I in?The Twilight Zone?“

„Above board my cute little ass“ „Broots you´ve been downloading porn again?My e-mail server´s whacked“ „Traffic was a bitch“

„God forgives I not“  „Daddy, Raines didn´t designed a better Big Mac. He designed a human being“ „Move over Hemingway“

„Jarod!Your 9th life just ran out“ „I spent 80% of my life hunting you  and in the second I stop you sit down in my lap“

„3 years on the run and is finally homesickness that brings you back“ „You have a gift to the obvious“ „Virgin veil was a nice touch“

„Now I know how dirty laundry feels like „I´m gonna wait until they think it´s all forgotten, find out who did this and make them pay

„A blind Chinese guy, a bimbo and a limousine.How hard can that be to find?“ „I take it as a compliment“ „Candied snails, Yummy“

„Oh please he´s like a cockroach.Torn on the lights, he runs.Tell her Broots!“ „That wheezing sack of bones, Raines!“

„Gravity is a bitch“ „Miss Parker is still in hell“ „False bravado.Never cared for it much in a man“ „If Jarod´s going then so am I“

„Even dead Lyle´s a pain in the ass“ „I miss the days, when the people I couldn´t trust were the people I couldn´t trust“

„These are the house rules: no running, no playing, no feet on the furniture and no noise, which includes crying and whinning.Be invisible and we´ll get along just fine“ „As unattached as your limbs are gonna be if you keep eyeballing me like that!“

„When I find out what you´re up to, it´s gonna take a hell of a lot more than a prayer to save your sorry ass“ „Cox?It´s with an X“

„There´s no place like home“ „I get my strenght back I swear I´m going postal“ „Why don´t you just say it: a new player“

„What´s home without tv?“ „That makes him about as worthless as this shirt.Did Don Ho hold a garage sell?“ „Chain him up?“

„At least we have Mr. Potato Head“ „Is that me or is Oz seriously missplaced?“ „Coincidence ain´t in the Centre´s dictionary“

„Let´s not polish each others door knobs.Not yet“ „That´s no stress disorder Syd.It´s Chernobyl of the brain“

„We´ve said it 3 times already.I know but I´ve got to hear it with the shoes clicking.You´re gonna hear it with the clicking of my 9mm if you don´t open this damn door!“ „I´m telling you right now, if that thing starts playing“Somewhere Over The Rainbow“ I´m gonna blow it into a million pieces“

„You shouldn´t underestimate Jarod. And you should never underestimate me. And the next time that you  send me into a building that is gonna explode, it had better blow, because if it doesn´t it´s gonna be your greay matter they´ll be mopping up with a toothbrush“ „Then Hitler should have taken up Yoga“ „I can die now. I´ve seen it all“ „Something to clean up your theories with“ „Evrything about my family is weird“ „Why don´t you shove your 9 fingers where the sun don´t shine!“

„You want donkey spit, you find an ass“ „Sorry to ruin your lunch plans“ „Just can´t trust a man with stolen thumb.Check Frankenstein´s phone records“ „Don´t even talk to me unless is good news“ „You´ve got something to say lady, say it!“ 

„Mind if I thumb a ride?“ „Since when do you hate to fly?“ „A little bird has whispered into my ear that hunting season has just opened and you´re the prize kill“ „All filled up and nowhere to go?“  „Miss Parker that´s a wall!Yeah and this is a rental!“

„Did you know that whenever you call me „Sis“ someone either dies or disappears?“ „This is where it ends.No Scooby Doo.This is exactly where it begins“ „If I find out you knew something about daddy and you didn´t tell me, there won´t be enough spare parts in Blue Cove to put your sorry ass back together“ „You scared the...It´s called crap Lyle and as full of it as you´re, I´m sure you have some to spare“ „Heh. God you´re a crazy bitch!Ahh!You don´t know the half of it“

„You shouldn´t have wasted your time helping the downtrodden!I haven´t wasted my freedom.Jarod, you were wrestling an alligator!“ „Why did you save my life?Because...I still remember the little girl who gave me my first kiss“ „How´s life treating you? Like he caught me in bed with his wife“

 „Monkeyboy got out of the zoo“„If any of you Munshkins starts to sing I drop the house on you!“ „If I shot you...you son of a bitch...you´d be dead. Are we clear?“„When it comes to the Centre, secrets are like oxygen“ „Lets see what our flying monkey is up to!“ „Looks like ist gonna be a full moon tonight.I hear that happens almost monthly“ „What´s wrong Broots? Fix it Broots! There´s nothing to fix.She unplugged it, that´s all there is!My  butt that´s all there is.Make it talk Broots.I can´t Miss Parker!My mother´s dying secret.The one thing she wanted me to know and it´s not only lost electronically but somewhere in Jarod´s head and he can´t remember a thing.

Huh.Raines. Raines must have erased that portion of Jarod´s brain.You mean hypnotised or brainwashed.Very likely.I don´t know how Raines locked that memory in Genius Boy´s head but I´m gonna free it up if I have to crack open his head and carve it out with a melon scoop“ „Raines delivered me?Spanks your bottom in a second.I´m gonna puke“ „Hi, we´re looking for...I don´t know what the hell we´re looking for...Jarod sent us!“

 „Broots you´re Toto, at best“ „How do you think he will hold up?Before or after he wets his pants „I don´t think we´re in Kansas anymore Miss Parker!What did you say?We cross the state border a few...No!Exactly what did you say?I said I don´t think you´re in Kansas anymore“ „You stole that from Mr.Parker?Is that a problem?Not for you!“„How will the Triumvariate fell when they find out they have a flesh-eating serial killer running the organization?“ „How nice to see you again!Wish I could say the same“

 „You´re beautiful when you´re angry.You´ve never seen my angry“ „I know a little about a lot: Raines,Tommy Thompson and your madman Alex.What I don´t know is why“ „Why wasn´t I told?When it comes to psycho´s Alex is a real deal.The more I contained it the better I thought Dad´s chances would be.Like hell...Daddy called him your madman.Now, you tell me why or I´m returning this to Mr.Raines“

„Do you know why the Centre wants me so badly?Even if I did I couldn´t tell you.You know that.“

„There´s always a method to Jarod´s madness.So if it says „Don´t touch“ don´t touch!“ „I guess everyone´s family is weird in their own way“ „Raines!I thought he was dead!Not anymore!“ „God news, bad news Broots:you take one and I take the other“ „Why don´t you just pointed it out to my head, uh?“ „Raines is not an easy man to kill.I can´t help if you have a lousy aim.I don´t plan to miss“ „I grew up Sydney.So should you“ „Renewal wing?That´s for head cases and invalids“

 „After the things I´ve seen and done, I think church is the last place I should be!Or maybe the first“ „Find anything on Cabins`O Love?Yeah how to ruin a pair of Gucci´s with red clay“ „For years I´ve been searching for the secrets, that only my father knows.Well that´s ironic isn´t it Pops?Ironic?You´re right about your father knowing all the secrets.Then why funny? He´s not your father“

 „Wait a minute you have a television in the bathroom?You don´t?“ „Do I look like I drive a minivan?“ „Hello are you paying attention?Check your tracking reports.He´s already been there“ „This people are dead from the neck up and don´t even know it!“ „Right and I´m the president of the PTA“ „That´s it-I´m counting to 3 and then I´m going to shoot you“

 „Twich-and I´ll be washing greay matter off the walls“ „I warn you, you pacific halfwit, get back to the Centre now and prepare yourself“ „Hello Jarod“ „Make up your mind Sydney! Be a scientist or a mommy-you can´t be both!“ „Do you pick up women on the computer?“ „I *want*him“ „Let´s go“

 „In the Centre people have tendency to vanish“ „Thanks God-you´re back“ „Well then“ „Whoop ti do!“ „Your little monster wants a teddy bear, uh, Sydney? Jarod is not a monster!Call him what you want Dr. Frankenstein, just tell me, where he is!“ „What?No!You´re kidding, right? Don´t soil yourself, Broots!“

„Kinda like your personal life...You grew up in a trailer park, didn´t you?“ „Don´t wear that shirt it makes me nauseous...It does!“

„At least I know how to protect the ones I love.Yeah the Triumvirate says jump and you say on who!“ „Emotions are making you soft.What would you know about emotions?“ „Do you think my revenge is misguided?If you have to ask you are answering your own your question.No, defence Syd, you can´t see it from where I stand“

 „I was in the shower.Thanx for painting that one for me“ „Gee, Syd I know you´re blind.I just didn´t realize deaf and dumb came with the package“ „You don´t understand Parker.It´s crystal clear.You sold your soul to save your ass.I just hope you don´t get burned by the guy with the horns and the little red pitch fork“

„You gave Jarod information.Information you stole from me.Miss Parker please.No!Sydney I´m out there risking my ass for Broots while your in here working behind my back.You want to tell me that´s not true.Parker does Lyle know about this?For now, no.You want to tell me why I shouldn´t give him that myself“ „What about Lyle? Leave him here to run his own circus“ „Go ahead Broots, say it.Every since Raines was shot“

 „Well if I would have shot sterno head he would be snoring through dirt right now instead of filling bed pans in the Centre burn unit“ „This amuses you!Jarod wants people to believe you´re a missionary“ „We´ll have great fun.Broots!!Or not“ „If you hurt her, I´ll make it my business to hunt you down and kill you.I know you will“ „What do you want from me?The same you want from me.A little trust.I have to go“ „Have you gone crazy?Everybody has“

 „You went on a date!That´s when 2 people actually meet instead of typing to each other over a computer keyboard“ „How Daddy make out?Better than yours will when I find him“ „Coming to the wedding?I´m not big on bride´s in black leather.Although, this a certain enjoyment irony in it. Funny, I´m not seeing it.Oh, give her a chance.Chance to what suck the rest of the life out of my father?“

 „Well, what do ya know Miss Parker reached out to help someone.Spare me!“ „Drop the accent, nobody´s buying it anymore.Fine with me bitch-too much damn work anyway“ „Well, for starters, hell hasn´t frozen over, pigs aren´t flying and you´re not the last man on earth“ „Your looking refreshed.New underpants will do that to you“ „I have to watch?You get to watch“ „Jarod´s line was wasted long“

„I found something bizarre.What, like hair on your head?“ „Now that you mentioned it, let´s talk birth control.As in the kind doctor Noel Lindquist provided for you.You do remember him, don´t you?Or maybe you don´t, considering he doesn´t exist“ „I´m talking about the alive and kicking emphysema ridden ghoul you´re harvesting for body parts“ „How does it feel to be the prey instead of the predator?You wouldn´t be the prey if you got back to the Centre where you belong!“

 „Your mother deserved a better fate then what she got.Your damn right she did“ „You put on quite a show today.Sydney taught you well“ „Lyle, reality check.I am getting to the bottom of the Centre problem without sacrificing Broots in the process“ „Well your monkeys seem to have a bit of trouble peeling this banana“ „Excuse me Syd, I have work to do“ „ Can I get a little privacy?No.“ „Is that a threat?What do you think?“

 „If you're thinking of jumping, I suggest you go up on the roof and do it right“ „ I'm so crazy about left-overs. Are you?“ „ Broots, if you fall asleep, it will be a hell of a wedding night“ „ You so much as hint this when they arrive, I'll amputate your head“ „Never again, did you hear me? Don't even ask! Never again.Calm down and check your pants“ „Settle down, shaggy. It's an owl“ „Miss Parker, why don't we just get the hell out of here and let her rest inpeace?I want to rest in peace“ „How does it feel to be mayor of Looserville?“

„Strike me down now Lord!“ „So you traded the olive branch for an Uzi. Is that your Christian way Raines? „I will not tolerate unstable behaviour from Centre employees.I thought that was a job requirement“ „24 hours.You have 12.I can do it in 8“ „Maybe your Boy Wonder has turned into Brian Boitano“ „Next time I´m just going to shoot the little pain in the ass“ „Guy has the bladder of a squirrel“ „He´s probably holed up in Whoville experiencing the Grinch for the first time“

 „Oh, Sydney was just leaving“ „Despite the lack of good sex“ „I need a very large drik“ „What died down here?What didn´t?“ „Agelo is called Spongeboy and Cousin It“ „Freak gets around more than Ed McMahon“ „Are you even capable of having a normal conversation? „Sydney and trout. Boggles the mind“ „What are you doing here?I live hereYou wheeze I shoot you“ „How strong are you?Strong enough.How strong are you?Test me!“

 „This sucks“ „First Sydney shows some testosterone.Now you.Must be the water“ „Dr.Raines,´ve got a headache? Lobotomize“ „Only God knows.God and the Centre“ „ It´s Nebraska.Hell is hell Broots“ „Do you want to talk about it?Does it look like I want to talk about it?“ „You´ve got quite a set showing up here“ „Ewww this is too weird“ „Hope I´m not interrupting.Keep hoping“

 „Since when does Lyle have a heart?“ „Where are you going?To try and find someone to trust“ „As opposed to trusting you? That´s kind of like jumping out of the fire into the fire“ „Trust can kill you or set you free“ „Daddy you look very handsome tonight“ „May I ask why are you here?I was in the neighborhood“ „That happens when you don´t have an opposable thumb“ „What about Lyle?He´s um gone to California.Dance,puppet,dance“ „And leave no pap smear unturned“ „Who needs a drink?“

„And quite a grotesquelittle puzzle it´s turned out to be“„You mean a shrink?Thanx Syd.But I will leave the mental masturbation to someone else“ „He slithered into my father´s office with Lyle and the troll“ „This is...surreal“ „I´m gonna go.Sit“ „Above board my cute little ass. Uh Miss Parker I don´t really feel comfortable discussing that subject.Cloning?No,your cute little...yes cloning“ „You bet your cute little ass“ „Raines could feed candy to a diabetic and still sleep like a baby“

 „I finally find some piece of mind and you want to lobotomize it?“ „This is my  father we´re talking about.Our father“ „I made the only move we had, you son of a bitch“ „Syd´s fancy way of saying our boy has his horns up“ „Tell me about this stuff boys.It looks like Jarod could use a nice, cold shower“ „Don´t worry Lyle.You can play with the toys when we´re done“ „Broots think of your worst nightmare“

 „Broots I´m flattered.In fact it´s kinda sweet, but it´s never gonna happen“ „Back burner, Broots“ „I sleep with this under my pillow.And you drool over the left corner of your mouth“ „Ha ha this seals it, the last piece“ „So what´s the flavour of the day little brother? „What did I just stump in?I don´t know but if you hurry, you can still catch it“ „Yeah next to the alien corpses Nixon showed Jackie Glieson“

„Versatile guy this Raines.Beats them, burts them, slices them in dices“ „In the middle of nowhere you can´t hear anyone scream“ „Move over Monet“ „You knew my mother was alive and you didn´t tell me? „Jarod and I share a brother?“ „Yes he´s a regular laugh riot“

„I can just imagine the crop circle deciphering parties of your house“ „Next time you  slam me like that you better make it count“ „You sure you´re bind?“ „Lady I´m the one who knows what I saw“ „You mean like the Holy Grail or something like that? „I´ve never seen it rain and snow at the same time.Well it is the Devil storm.“

„How could a mam destroy his family just for his pursuit of greed and power?Why don´t you ask your father that?“ „Miss Parker are you alright?What´s wrong?She lead me here so I´d know where I come from.What do you mean?The crypt keeper´s family.Thery´re who I am“ „The pathetic part is that I´ve been searching for that gift from daddy ever since“ „Those Parker graves out there go way beyond empty“

 „Which brings me back wondering...“Who it is you really are“ „Why is it that the one person that I´ve been trained to distrust, to hate, to capture, is always with me during the most difficult moments of my life?Maybe, it´s supposed to be that way“ „Did you just call her Angel?“ „Everything means something“ „Evil scrolls, ghosts, a little family arson...All the perfect Parker fit“ „Call me crazy but I´m ready to believe in curses“

 „Ugly son of a bitch.Reminds me of Raines“ „I tego arcana dei.What does it mean?“Daddy? Sure as hell not Santa Claus!“ „What am I supposed to do Jarod?“ „Leave my mother out of this, okay?I am not her“ „Maybe we do what we have to, to get by in this life“ „Maybe we both deserve something more.Just forget what happened on that island, forget that moment of weakness.Turning points only come, when you have got something to turn to“ „I´m sorry it isn´t the different ending you were looking for.But it´s just the way the damn story does Jarod!“

 „Hello?Parker thank God!It´s us Miss Parker.We´ve been so worried about you!Did you just say hello? What Brots!“ „Where have you been Somewhere between hell and a turning point“ „Are you telling me that Mr.Raines could actually be my father?  I think I´m gonna vomit“ „I´m still waiting for my answer“ „Not now Angel“ „Don´t angel me.I want to know which one of you  2 is my real father. Now!!“ „And if she found the scrolls then...She would have all the leverage of the Centre.Or the leverage to end it!Are we getting warm?“

 „Hang on to something Angel. You can´t come with me this time.Are you just gonna leave me here to die?Oh no, you´ll be alright.That´s not how they say it ends.Wait!Daddy I have to know.Are you my real father?I love you as my daughter that´s all it counts“ „He´s got 3 wires left.Only one of them is blue.What should he do?Lyle, you´ve to choose carefully.In other words, guess!“

 „I just want everything to get...You know I almost said I want everything to get back to normal.Not such thing around here“ „Quite a bedtime story“ „Jarod has to be returned.So it is back to normal.With a twist.Whichever of you 2 brings Jarod back will also have a long term future here and future in the Parker legacy.And whoever fails?Be careful when you joke about the beheadings“ „And what about us?You run. I chase.That choice was made for us a long time ago“ „Hell of a life we have here Jarod!Only this time the first one to find the answers, lives“ „Jarod, the prophecies, if they were real, maybe we could have find out what our future would hold.If they are real“.